The Gift of Giving

Several years ago my good British friend started sending me the famed Christmas Adverts of John Lewis –  a UK department store that creates heartfelt, lovely little TV commercials each year. They’re  generally comprised of a touching message and a famous song covered by an unassuming artist. Although its such a treat to see what song and artist they chose each year, my favorite surprise is to discover which adorable store they decided to create.

See the 2011 advert for yourself:

1 – Can I please have a little boy like this? I just want to kiss his impatient little face!

2 – His reason for being so eager for Christmas Day melts my heart.

I have to say, props to this little boy – seeing as I was never this thoughtful when I was younger. Typical of child’s selfish and insatiable greed – Christmas was all about what I was gonna get and giving gifts was a minuscule after thought. I mean, giving was fun sometimes but the thought that went in to truly finding something my parents would love, ugh, too tasking!

Well, my train of thought has finally hit a total 180 – I find so much more pleasure in giving gifts than I do in receiving them. In fact, I no longer give a second glance to what is under the tree for me, but rather relish in being the household wrapper – tucked away in my parents room with  everyone’s gifts strewn across the bed – a glass of wine and scissors in hand (that sounds worrisome). My Christmas thrill comes from bringing out the gifts and waiting till Christmas morning to see others open my gifts to them.

Now – I’m not some selfless saint. The Baby Jesus has not shined his light on me and all of sudden I’m a changed woman. Quite the opposite, I’m still wholeheartedly and unfortunately selfish. In my personal life, I don’t bend my schedule for others and if I don’t want to do something – I just won’t – no matter the persisting persuasion. I think my flip of giving rather than receiving has much more to do with being an adult and feeling pleased by pleasing others – receiving approval, a thumbs up for my efforts – rather than getting something tangible and enjoying it for myself. As I’ve grown older, having a shared satisfaction is much more rewarding then hoarding happiness for myself.

Again, not a saintly change of heart but rather a scientific fact…. According to “The Psychology Behind Gift-Giving and Generosity,” an article by Maria Konnikova, studies show that people actually feel happier when giving a gift rather than receiving one. See Link: The Psychology Behind Gift Giving and Generosity

So there it is my friends – give and you shall receive (happiness). It’s not all fluffy, lovey-dovey, lets-be-good-people stuff. Give to others and find yourself feeling good, its the real deal!

Tiger Mini

You Don’t Eat No Meat?! That’s Okay. I Make Lamb.

Last night, my girlfriends and I played a game of “Would You Rather.” Topic of choice ranged from baby names (my 9 year old self would have loved this, I had a list that could match the yellow pages) all the way to what sense you would give up…. well, none of them! All things sensory are kind of a necessity, ya know? Part of me thought if I lost my sense of taste I would become a health guru. When you can’t taste the orgasmic splendor of chocolate, who needs it?! But then I remembered that food is kinda my whole life.

Pardon me for sounding like a gluttonous pig, but food is such a glorious indulgence that I could definitely rate it as…mmm… one of the top 3 factors for happiness.  Food is the center of enjoyment, socializing, experiencing and most importantly, my family LOVES food. By this I mean, if you reject food offered at my house we will collectively agree that:

A – You’re being polite. Silly, silly you! Eating at our house is being polite. DUH.

B – You are a miserable person who lives a life of strict health and depravity.

C – You have no taste. (My parents are damn good cooks).

D – ALL of the above.

Case in point, if you are offered food at my house, you accept it. Furthermore, you enjoy it and take seconds.

The best way to describe our love of food is to show how closely it relates to our social gatherings and just all feelings of warm-fuzzy. While it took about 15 years to realize this, I’ve spent my entire life being spoiled by lovingly-made, delicious food – accessible 24/7. I used to assume that everyone’s family ate in more than they ate out and that their parents spent absurd amounts of money on groceries too.

Oh how wrong I was.  Very, very disappointingly wrong. I wish everyone recognized the power of it. The fact that food is not merely a necessity for nourishment and survival, but a key ingredient to many brilliant, fulfilling possibilities. Eat it and you’ll be pleased. Cook it and you’ll have the instant gratification of creating something  – reveling in your success immediately. Share it and you’ll have the pleasure of  making others  gloat with satisfaction. Thanks to the habits of my parents, nothing makes me happier than the process of cooking and eating. I love every step – shopping, measuring, sauteing, baking, presenting and enjoying. There is something incredibly therapeutic about getting immersed in the rhythms of cooking and forgetting about the rest of your day, knowing that you will have a result -something tangible – to enjoy.

I know many people say they hate to cook. They become impatient or it seems too much effort for 15 minutes of eating or (my boyfriend’s personal favorite) it makes too many dishes when you can just order food, mess free and quick.

No, no, no. If there is anything I urge people to do. Try to cook. Attempt it 5 times and if you truly hate it, order out for the remainder of your life. Just try it for the mere fact that you’re creating something  that is all at once necessary and enjoyable.

As Mondays Usually Go…

Today was one of those ‘screw the world’ days.

I am guilty to admit it, seeing as that my positive nature is pretty much my pride and glory. Still, I think its good to embrace your feelings whether they absolutely suck dirt or they’re happy… you’ve gotta ride them out.

Today they did suck dirt. I woke up miserable as last nights words echoed in my mind. My boyfriend simply asked me what I was up to the next day (today). I venomously retorted “What do you think I’m doing? I don’t have a job.” It was very mean of me. He had only asked out of curiosity, while I felt like it was some personal attack on my current state of unemployment. He had no idea how bitter it made me to remember that I’m not going to a job in the morning.

I like to assume that no one likes unemployment. Whether it is their lack of money or lack of purpose or lack of whatever. I am no exception.  My reason? I associate unemployment with everything I hate: lazyness, lack of ambition, lack of success and the undying belief that each pass over at my application is one more person who does not see value in me.  I associate unemployment way too closely with my self worth. No mind that my last employers told me they were crushed to see me leave and had “big plans” for me. Who cares that my old coworkers gushed with words of praise about my eternal positivity and strong work ethic. Now that I’ve spent a month being rejected, I suddenly suck and will ruin my career FOREVER…

I am kidding…. but it is almost comical to apply to a position and tell this employer how awesome and qualified I am when each fruitless application has me one step closer to thinking I’m an inconsequential dot in this gigantic city. It’s also a huge wake up call to how much I value other people’s opinions and how much I place my confidence in their viewpoints. I always thought I was this unbreakable, confident and strong person. Well, this is making me think again and recognize that maybe I can be a hugely insecure baby within the secret confines of my head.

I know we all face it – insecurity. I  know that job searching is an unfailing recipe for self-degradation. It gets people in a low place and makes you look outside of your secure little bubble. Even with this knowledge, it got to me today. While I know and consciously recognize that I am incredibly fortunate, I saw that I had a fairly empty inbox and my heart had sunk for the day.

Even so – I will only let my frustration get to me today. It won’t work tomorrow. I went running.  I job hunted. I crossed off several to-dos. I even painted my nails! Let me tell you… that takes unusual patience to not use your hands for 30 minutes. Today has already become a better day. Tomorrow will start and finish with a can-do attitude. I am choosing to be confident and dropping that insecure bullshit.

I rode out the bad, ugly feelings. Set them aside and got shit done. I’ll do it again tomorrow and the next day.

Lace Gown

Freezing and Yeezus

I woke up this morning and completed my daily ritual of what I like to call “freezing procrastination.” The minute it gets cold out, leaving my bed fills me with the dreaded anticipation of becoming a human Popsicle. To be honest, it is not too bad inside my bedroom but you all know what I am talking about: no one wants to leave their cozy dream cocoon.

Alas, to justify my choice to not leave my bed I check my phone for just about every update imaginable. I mean, this is the only time I peer at my bank account to make sure my balances are looking good… or just in case I want to remind myself that I am not rich and successful. I also read my Facebook feed like its god damn CNN, clicking through every semi-interesting link.

Today I found out that several of my friends have put up their Christmas trees. I learned that New York has a Downtown Abbey food truck that serves tea and crumpets and I learned that there is a satire article about Kanye West believing he is the next Nelson Mandela. Normally I would overlook such articles but it actually took me a small while to realize it was a fake article. I mean, the dude is the epitome of narcissism… you can’t really call yourself a form of Jesus and expect that everyone will take you seriously after that. A lot of me wonders how Kanye has become who he is – what makes him believe his is so extraordinary in comparison to the rest of the people on this earth? He must realize that his brand is made up of hundreds if not thousands of employee’s and that he is not a one man show.

As I have seen through plenty of comments and articles, this guy is not exactly making himself to be the most favorable person. Yes, of course, media will flutter around him because of his controversial absurdity but I do wonder how much it will affect his future sales. People will become more and more critical of his work. You cannot be “Yeezus” and have pretty good album. We’ll see if he lives up to his own hype.

Case in point – have the shit to back it up before you go around telling everyone that you infinitely rock.